


Willing

by uwujii



Series: Haikyuu Angst Week 2020 [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Fake/Pretend Relationship, M/M, One-Sided Attraction, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-01
Updated: 2020-11-01
Packaged: 2021-03-09 03:07:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 913
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27327793
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/uwujii/pseuds/uwujii
Summary: "I'm willing for you to use me."
Relationships: Miya Atsumu/Sakusa Kiyoomi, Sakusa Kiyoomi/Ushijima Wakatoshi
Series: Haikyuu Angst Week 2020 [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1995433
Comments: 5
Kudos: 41
Collections: Haikyuu Angst Week 2020





	Willing

**Author's Note:**

> Day 1 (Tier 2) : Fake Dating + Unrequited Love
> 
> TW // manipulation, mention of a break-up

"Fake date?"

Atsumu looked at Sakusa, confused at his request. The boy with the mask called him over at his apartment without any explanation, but Atsumu was willing to go even without one. Just the idea of being called over by Sakusa was rare, so when his caller ID appeared on his phone, he was ready to go.

"Yeah," Sakusa replied quietly. Atsumu noticed that he looked at anything else but him, "why?" He dared to ask. He knew he'd hurt himself by asking that. Though as expected, there was no answer. Atsumu sighed before crossing his arms with a frown on his face,

"Is it Ushijima?"

He saw him flinch, confirming his assumption. Sakusa and Ushijima had just broken up a week ago, and Sakusa hasn't been 'fine'. He was spacing out more than usual when they were together as a group with Hinata and the others. Usually, he'd respond with a scowl when they did something stupid, but he never reacted ever since the break-up.

"Can ya tell me why me then?"

This time, Sakusa looked at Atsumu, the latter's frown immediately turning into a small smile. Sakusa stared at him for a few seconds before sighing, "out of everyone else, you're the one I'm closest to and," Sakusa paused, then looked at the wall behind Atsumu.

_ Because you know I like you.  _

"Okay," Atsumu nodded. Sakusa looked at him in the eyes, surprised, "it's okay if you don't want to, Miya. I can just—" Atsumu's chuckle cut him off. He was waving his hand dismissively, like whatever he was asking for was nothing to him.

"Omi, it's fine. I'll fake date you!"

—

He knew he'd hurt himself agreeing to this.

They told everyone they were dating after a few weeks. Atsumu tried his absolute best to act excited, and so did Sakusa, well, as much as he could show with his face mask. Everyone believed it. They even assumed it would happen one day, seeing that Sakusa was closer with Atsumu more than anyone else in their friend group.

Atsumu felt his heartbreak when he heard that.

Their relationship seemed real to everyone, even to Atsumu sometimes. The way they looked at each other, held each other's hands, talked, shared stories, and overall, how they acted in love, it felt real. It made Atsumu's heart beat faster than usual, he was always nervous when they held hands, worried that his palms were too sweaty, and he was always conscious of his looks.

It was like dating someone for the first time.

Except they weren't.

Atsumu always realizes this before bed. Even when his heart raced, even with the time they spent together, even with all the looks and touches of affection, he knew Sakusa's heart didn't belong to him. It belonged to the person on Sakusa's wallpaper, Ushijima Wakatoshi.

He was good at hiding it, the pain: the broad smile, the loud laughter, and the teasing. Everything was hidden, all for Sakusa Kiyoomi, the person that would never look his way. The person that knew of his feelings but decided to use that at his disposal. He didn't know if he was being used as a way to move on or if he was being used as a way to get back at Ushijima.

Either way, both hurt Atsumu.

He always did the most obnoxious things to make it seem like they were in a real happy relationship, and Sakusa would respond in a way that he could show the same happiness in his own reserved way. Atsumu's acting carried most of their fake dating, too, making him realize that Sakusa could have expected him to do that. He knew Atsumu was willing to do anything for him.

Atsumu wondered if he was a masochist when they were still at it for a month.

He didn't want to admit it, but he was tired. With every action, with every look, with every word he spoke, Atsumu always made sure they were out of love, and although Sakusa's actions and words seemed real, he had no underlying emotion like Atsumu's. It hurt to realize that it was all nothing at the end of the day.

It hurt that he hoped that Sakusa would have feelings for him while they fake dated. It hurt every time Sakusa would open his phone and stare longingly at Ushijima's picture. It hurt every time Atsumu went to bed, and he'd be hearing the I love you's in his head. Those words of affection that had none at all.

It hurt that Sakusa did this to him. He knew that Atsumu would say yes to his request. He knew that Atsumu noticed how affected he was with the break-up and sympathized with him. It hurt him that Sakusa was using him, and every day, Atsumu was just waiting until the day he'd be discarded, until Sakusa didn't need him anymore.

It hurt him so much, but he couldn't bring himself to stop. He loved being around Sakusa like this, acting like they were a sweet and perfect couple. He knew this was as close as he could get to being in a relationship with him, and he'd gladly take it rather than nothing at all.

Even if he was just being used.

If it were for Sakusa Kiyoomi's happiness and satisfaction, he'd be willing to do this for him.

—

"Thanks for this, Miya. I think it's time to stop."

_ Ah, there it is.  _

"No problem, Omi." 

**Author's Note:**

> This is honestly my first try at SakuAtsu/AtsuSaku aaaa i hope its ok D:


End file.
